Living amidst the walls

Forewarning:  I wrote this blog while listening to the latest This American Life and chatting to a friend.  Expect grammar and spelling errors.  Expect some nonsensical words and phrases. Expect to be wowed, or not.  Better yet, read it without expectations.   

Derry/Londonderry is a city rife with history.  Today I learned a bit more of that history; I was given a tour of the walls by R1.  The walls were created in the early 1600s.  There have a unique shape; they are not the normal circular design of most walled cities.  Circular defensive walls always have a blind spot -- Derry's walls do not because of their unique shape.  There were originally only 4 gates into the city, but now more have been added.  (I walk through one of the gates to enter the walls each morning on my way to work and walk out the gates to exit each evening.)

As a part of my walled city tour, R. took me into St. Columb's Cathedral which was a beautiful cathedral built in the early 1600s.  It is the oldest standing building in the city.  It was interesting to go into the church and see how entwined the unionist politics are even within the church walls. (Unionism is the political ideology that supports the maintenance of ties between the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland.  Basically, unionists want to stay a part of the UK. Unionism is commonly associated with Northern Ireland Protestants.)  St. Columb's Cathedral had numerous flags hanging it that were relics from old UK colonies and wars.  There were stone etchings, wall plaques, and stained glass windows dedicated to foregone saints who were proclaimed to have given their lives dutifully for their country while serving the Queen in India and other far off provinces.  Some were heroes from the siege of Derry.  All of the plaques could easily be classified as being 'unionist'; neutrality was not the vision.  The tight web of militarism, colonialism and religion was evident throughout.  The lobby of the church included an area to buy magnets with the Queen of England or hat pins with Londonderry written on them.  There weren't any hat pins with Derry available for purchase.  (At this point I should mention that R. told me about a few of the initiatives church leaders are taking to try to work with across boundaries -- joint activities amongst Catholic and Protestant churches, etc.  Also, I should mention the architecture of the cathedral was beautiful and we also got a special treat since the organist was there.  He was practicing a few Christmas hymns.)

I have been reading several books full of personal stories and experiences from the Border (between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland).  Each of these stories shares an individual's experience of living on the border.  There are stories from individuals who lived their entire lives on one side of the Border and from individuals who lived different parts of their life on the different sides of the Border.  The Border was created in 1920 with the Government of Ireland Act.  Some people had farmland that was split by the Border; some even had houses split by the Border.  One of the stories tells of a man who always slept with his head in on one side and his feet in another.  The personal stories are full of pain.  The common denominator in all the stories and all sides of the conflict was the pain.  Another theme was the idea that the greatest border is not the physical one but the psychological and emotional borders that have been erected by the people within Northern Ireland.  The walls they have erected in their hearts and minds.  Sometimes these walls have visible manifestations -- such as the peace walls in Belfast, but more often the walls are invisible.  The invisible wall existing between Protestants and Catholics in Derry/Londonderry (which manifests itself through a segregation between the two groups -- different communities, different schools, different pubs, different churches, etc.), the invisible wall between the Croats and Bosniaks in Mostar, the developed world and the developing world.  

Even though I may not believe in borders and think they only create division and strife, I have to respect that others may believe in them (believe=support).  I have to respect that for some people the presence of a border or a wall is what makes them feel secure and safe.  It doesn't matter whether their fear is founded or unfounded, what matters is that it is how they feel.   

I have only been here a few weeks and I have come to realized that even if I stayed here for the next twenty years I would still be learning.  I know I still have a lot to learn about the walls that exist here -- the history, the politics, why the Border is necessary for some to feel safe and why its destruction is necessary for others to feel safe -- okay, basically I need to learn everything. However, like so many before me, I am going to still express an opinion on something I know so little about and expect people to listen to it.

So, how do we recognize and respect other people's experiences and beliefs without feeling threatened?  I know we all have prejudice within us and stereotypes -- perhaps it is towards country hicks, city slickers, Mexicans, Jews, Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, or any of the other numerous groups that can be classified as the Other (that which is different from myself/yourself).  How do we acknowledge and embrace the difference each other to become a new, more inclusive community?  I think along with the importance of community initiatives there must be change within individuals.  

In the end I must ask myself:  What walls have I put up?  What is the Other to me?  Am I willing to break down those walls even if it is a painful and slow process?  Hopefully, I will succeed in identifying my 'walls' and working to tear them down even if it is only stone by stone.  I'm sure it will be a lifelong process. 

Here's to a future generation that exists without walls, borders, or dividers.  I don't imagine it to be utopia, but I do imagine it to be a better place.  After all, how can we conquer the really important questions like how to save Britney Spears from her continuing self-destruction if we can't first save ourselves? Or can white really be worn after Labor Day?    

My newest lesson...

It is always best to sit next to the elderly man organizing the event when you go to a pub to participate in Quiz Night and don't know any of the answers because it centers around Irish and British history.  He has all of the answers and will kindly help you cheat out of pity for your silly Americanness.  

Thanksgiving

Thankfully, I have written another post.  I'm sure you are all wondering why this post isn't a completion of my most recent post covering some of the similarities between my former home and current one (Belgrade and Derry) as advertised, but you should probably just be thankful to be getting any type of post.  In honor of the upcoming great American holiday, which can said to be uniquely ours, I have switched topics.

I realize Thursday is Thanksgiving Day, but I must admit it has been a struggle to remember. Last Thursday I woke up and thought I, "Today is Thanksgiving and I basically missed it.  I completely forgot that I needed to be full of gratitude today."  Last year Thanksgiving Day was a prominent event that remained front and center in my mind.  I went to J and J's apartment (where I eventually lived) for a huge Thanksgiving feast with pumpkin soup, pumpkin pie, faux cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, turkey, stuffing, pecan pie and lots of other goodies.  It seemed easy to remember and easy to celebrate.  Perhaps, it was because I had only recently left the U.S.  Maybe it was because I was surrounded by a handful of other people hailing from the U.S.  Who knows? All I really know is this year is a different story.  

People started asking  me last week about Thanksgiving, but it has only added to my confusion. The questions were always put in the past tense -- "Did you celebrate Thanksgiving this weekend?" or "What did you do for Thanksgiving?"  Yesterday I went over to a friend's house for dinner and she said, "Oh, yes.  This can be your Thanksgiving dinner.  It is today (Monday) isn't?  Or is it tomorrow (Tuesday)?"  Today at the office I got asked if Thanksgiving was tomorrow (Wednesday).  Needless to say, this has left me quite confused.  I just cannot keep track of whether Thanksgiving is coming or going.  

Anyway, I actually have plans to celebrate Thanksgiving here.  This Sunday I will be traveling to Belfast to participate in the BVS Thanksgiving -- Northern Irish style.  I'm not exactly sure what that means at this point, but I am looking forward to finding out.  

Goodbye Belgrade, Hello Derry

I arrived in Northern Ireland a little over two weeks ago.  It was a journey and a half.  It started with my departure from my apartment in Belgrade via bus at 2 am.  I arrived in Derry/Londonderry around 9 pm.  I safely made it through UK immigration after presenting my prepared folder of documents explaining my presence.  My immigration experience did involve a short, friendly informal interview and a brief waiting period in which everyone else freely entered the country while the immigration officials checked the validity of my story, but I found a friendly smile made the process much smoother.  Or maybe it was the numerous documents proving I was a legitimate, financially supported volunteer?     

Even though my border crossing still involved a few minutes of nail biting, it has started to sink in that I am no longer in Serbia.  Things have certainly changed.  I have gone from the culture of coffee to the land of tea.  I no longer here the standard, "Do you want coffee?"  Instead, it is, "Do you want a cup of tea?" I now live with C. and C. instead of J. and J.  C. and C. are both law students.  

One of the first differences I noticed was the food.  The lack of ethnic food in the Balkans was always a sore point among us Balkan BVSers.  A good example of this is the weekend I met Tory and Katie (the BVSers in Sarajevo and Mostar) in Novi Sad.  One of the highlights of our weekend was the Chinese restaurant.  If you could have seen the excitement on our faces and heard the awe in our voices, you would understand the treasure we had found in the restaurant. Since my arrival, I have not faced the same dilemma.  In the London airport alone I was overwhelmed with the choices -- hummus, Thai dishes, Chinese food, Indonesian, Japanese, Ben & Jerry's (Okay, I admit it is not ethnic food but it is a delicacy).  The overwhelming food choices have continued in the supermarkets in Derry/Londonderry.  In the last two weeks, there have been several times I have stopped for a basic staple (milk, bread, etc.), but spent an hour just walking through the store looking at all the variety.  It is a fun way to pass my free evenings.  I'm sure to most of you this is odd since you probably don't spend your free evenings wondering through supermarkets, but I guess a year in Serbia has made me Hopefully this is a short term effect.  I did notice one difference between the supermarkets here and in the U.S. (or at least as I remember the supermarkets in the U.S. -- specifically small town Indiana and slightly larger Las Cruces)  -- there is a much larger market here for organic and free trade products.  Almost all products offer an organic version and many offer a free trade version.  

However, there are some similarities to my time in Belgrade.  For instance, I still have trouble understanding what people are saying.  I thought I would be fine on this front since English is the primary language.  I was wrong.  English might be the primary language, but I am still getting used to the accents and the "English" vocabulary rather "U.S." vocabulary.  There are still moments when I have no clue what someone has just said because of the accent or the 'English' words.  

I had several points I wanted to write at this point (about other similarities and differences) and I will add them on Monday.  However, I was just given the opportunity to head home for the weekend and this is an opportunity not to be missed.  It is 12:30 pm on a Friday.  I will work on writing up the rest of my thoughts on this matter to be posted on Monday.  Check back then for further information on this topic and my period of transition from being Balkanized to becoming Derry-ized.  I will also add one brief paragraph for your weekend enjoyment that I have already written up expanding on some of the adventures this week has brought:

This morning I woke up to find we had no electricity.  This was actually the second morning in a row this had happened.  We (like many houses here) have pre-pay electric.  You put a certain amount on your meter and when it gets low it starts beeping.  This lets you know you need to put more money on.  The first time I heard it I thought we had an unknown (to me) alarm system and I had set it off.   This system is a good way to monitor how much electric you are using; there are no surprisingly large bills at the end of the month.  This system is also a good way to make certain you will at least once (or twice and counting if you live where I do) wake up without warm water, lights, or heat.  Thankfully, my alarm clock is not dependent on the electricity.  I should mention that I have never been a morning person and it is extremely challenging for us morning-challenged individuals to be motivated to leave your warm, cozy bed if there are not any consolation prizes awaiting.  

 

     

The Blog Must Go On...

Since my decision to make more regular blog posts I have kept very busy. Not that I am trying to excuse myself or anything.  Last Wednesday I made the move (via 2 bus rides equalling 7.5 hours and 2 flights) to Derry/Londonderry, Northern Ireland.  As you can imagine, my last few weeks in Belgrade flew by in preparation for my move and wrapping up things in Belgrade.  I'm not in a new environment and new culture -- transition phase, you are my most welcome friend. My first few days here have been a flurry of activity as I try to find my way around town, unpack, meet new people, and celebrate Halloween.  Halloween is a huge holiday here; several of the people I met told me it is bigger than Christmas.  Lucky for me, I love Halloween.  Candy and costumes -- what is not to love?  There were fireworks (which a caught a glimpse of from the house) and a parade (which we did see).   Hopefully, I will be able to write another post soon about my new surroundings.  For now, I am attaching a previously written, never published post below.  

Anyway, some of my recent events (in Serbia) have included:

1. A trip to Vrnjacka banja for a retreat with WiB. Vrnjack banja is a known spot for their spring water which is supposed to have healing powers. I'm not sure if the water has healing powers, but I know it has that sweet sulphuric scent. The retreat proved to be an interesting experience from the very beginning. The fun began with the complete fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants travel arrangements. On Monday evening I was given no less than 4 different sets of instructions on how I would be getting to Vrnjacka banja. The final set of instructions was to be at the WiB office at 9:30 am.

Imagine my surprise when I received a call at 7:50 am (which was exactly 5 minutes after I woke up) asking if I could be there in 30 minutes. Of course, this conversation was in Serbian and my Serbian is always at my worst when I just rolled out of bed. I hadn't showered in a few days, hadn't packed, and had slept much less than the recommended 8 hours (Due to a long night of frustrating that consisted of my computer crashing and me attempting to fix it only to have it crash again -- issues still remain.). The smart thing would have been to say, "No, I cannot be there in 30 minutes. I was informed I needed to be there at 9:30 am." The thing that came out of my mouth was, "Well...umm...uhh...I can try...maybe 35 minutes?" So, at this point we can all imagine me trying to stuff everything within sight (that didn't need a date with the washer) into my backpack. I then raced as fast as possible to grab the tram (I usually walk but in a jam the tram is a few minutes faster). I arrived at the office out of breath at 8:34 am only to find that we really wouldn't be leaving until 9:30 am. This was a bit frustrating (probably more so to those who would be riding in the car with me since the smells eminating from my body and hair could have used a good dousing with shampoo and soap), but I repeated the day's mantra of "Katie, this is funny. Katie, this is funny. Katie, this is funny....."

When we arrived at the hotel where we would be staying (along with eating and meeting), we were split up into groups of three for our rooms. I was placed with F. and R., two of the older WiB members. After the first night, F. asked me, "Do you know that you snore?" (New Serbian of the day=to snore) I responded, "No." F.'s response was, "Yes, you do. And very loudly. I couldn't sleep last night because you were snoring." At which point R. said, "I didn't notice. It must not have been too bad. It's not a problem." F. then said, "At first I thought it was you, F. It is a problem because I couldn't sleep all night." I didn't say anything. I knew it wasn't me that had been snoring, but R. because I was also woken up several times during the night. However, once again I had just woken up (to those who are confused --I'm not a morning person) and decided it wasn't worth it. I repeated my new mantra of the day, "Katie, in the bigger scheme this is unimportant. Unimportant. Unimportant. Unimportant...."

The following night I stayed up a bit later than my 'roommates'. They had left the bathroom light on for me for when I finally came into sleep. I came in and went to the restroom to brush my teeth and prepare for bed. As I was in the bathroom, I heard snoring (as I had the previous night) and then every few minutes F. would yell out R's name to wake her so she would stop snoring. It was quite funny. Of course, I received an apology the next morning and R.  received  notice of her 'excessive' snoring.

2. A recent Saturday afternoon found my friends J, J, and I participating in a local community event. This is when I realized my Serbian vocabulary surrounding body parts needs some more work. We went to the monthly Women's Day. On one Saturday each month a local women's group plans an event for women to relax and have fun. This week's event was a massage session. J, J, and I packed up our blankets and exercise mats (as instructed) and caught a bus to the community center where the event was taking place.

We arrived a bit late, but luckily for us the event was on Balkan time. The session started with some self-massage techniques and some stretching. It seemed to be shaping up to an excellent 3 hours.  Then it turned into some partner massage involving one person lying on the floor mat and the other using their feet, elbows, arms, hands and fingers to massage the other.  This was not as great of a time since it our attention (J is also from Indiana and is not fluent in Serbian) that we did not know our Serbian body part vocabulary.  The instructor was very adamant that the massages were done correctly so as not to cause injury, but this proved difficult for us when the visual difference was miniscule.   

3. Another recent outing included a trip to the Student Cultural Center aka SKC (which is actually two blocks from my apartment -- making getting lost almost impossible) to listen to Horkestar. They are an alternative choir that sings Communist songs and wear interesting outfits. They actually used to be a part of a different choir that split into two (Horkestar being one of the resulting choirs). Sometimes WiB worked with the original choir and continues to work with the other resulting choir. They wrote and performed alternative activist songs. If you are a youtube person, I suggest looking at the following video link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENPaPnpDHxE&feature=related It is actually the song WiB has used at several actions I have participated in since my arrival last October.

Anyway, this performance required each member of the choir to wear a special hat. Several of us made sure to show up for the performance because our friend K had a solo. She did excellent, but it should be noted it was even more impressive since English rather than Serbian is her first language.

Keep your eyes out for a new post.  After all, the blog must go on...

The Wheels on the Bus Go 'Round and 'Round

This just in: I'm sitting in the WiB office trying to work. Concentration level: Medium. We all hear a loud, horrible, smashing noise through the balcony doors. L and I jump up to see what happened. Concentration level: Quickly falling. Apparently, the wheels on one Belgrade city bus went 'round and 'round until they ran into the small shop directly across from us. The bus continues to make steaming noises (without steam appearing), the police continue to stand around and take notes, the shop owners continue to wave their hands around, and pedestrians continue to stop by to pull out their mobile phones to take pictures. The bus had knocked over two garbage dumpsters before running into the building. A car parallel parked on the sidewalk (where the bus 'parked' itself) seems to miraculously survived. Unfortunately, the bus ran into on of the photo shops directly across our office rather than one of the erotic shops directly across our office. Concentration level: Gone.

L just left for home a few minutes ago. She stopped by the shop to look in and see the damage (concerned citizen alert). She then yelled up to M and I (standing on the balcony awaiting her assessment) that the wall inside was destroyed (visible damage from the outside was serious roof damage and some wall damage). She also informed us (street to balcony information is reliable and efficient) that the bus ran into the building on its own. The driver apparently was in a nearby shop using the restroom facilities.

This news update comes to you on the spot and no more than 15 minutes after the accident. Therefore, the reporter takes no responsibility for any editing errors. The reader's lack of comprehension of this update may be blamed on the internet connection rather than the reporter's descriptions or writing skills. This reporter's next article will appear as soon as the reporter has regular internet access to update readers on recently written but unpublished articles.

The Revival

Apologies for the long pause between posts. I could spend this entry filling you in on the lovely jaunt throughout Europe that I took with my parents. I would share the highlights of their visit including the beautiful cities we visited (Prague, Krakow, Vienna, Ljubljana, Dubrovnik, Split, Mostar, Sarajevo, and Belgrade), being blessed by the presence of another person under 40 for a portion of the trip (Thank you, Erin!), the wonderful suitcase transported throughout Europe full of American delicacies (courtesy of the parents and M&M), how Mom got caught in our building elevator 3 times in one day, or the adventures of Eastern European transportation. Of course, there was also my trip to Berlin for the BVS Europe retreat. There were the few extra days I spent in Berlin after the retreat with Katie and Tory (the other two BVS volunteers in the Balkans). We found that we had a tendency to focus our time on three things: coffee, gossip, and atrocities. Apparently we have been 'balkanized' to some extent. However, we did find some time to fit in some museums and general sightseeing while in Berlin.

I could share with you the many glimpses I have received of the worst of humanity. I participated in the commemoration of 13th anniversary of the Srebrenica Genocide in Republic Square in Belgrade on July 10. In a city which continues to deny what happened, a video was played in the town square with the stories of women who had lost their families in the genocide. They spoke of the permanent entwining of the past with their future as they continue to search for the bodies of their loved ones. On July 11, I travelled with Women in Black to the Srebrenica-Potočari Memorial and Cemetery to watch and participate in the annual burial as 308 newly identified bodies were buried. After the ceremony we went to the Srebrenica Memorial Room. The Srebrenica Memorial Room is located in the battery factory was the headquarters of the UN Dutch soldiers and where many Bosniaks came for refuge. Now the battery factory contains a continuously running documentary film and a display containing personal items and stories of some of the victims of the genocide. The travels with my parents included a visit to Auschwitz-Birkenau and to cities and populations that had been forever changed by the Holocaust. My trip to Berlin with BVS included two visits to the Holocaust Memorial and Underground Museum and a day excursion to the Sachsenhausen concentration camp. However, I won't blog about those experiences. Mainly because I don't have the words to describe them or the courage and gumption to find the words.

The last few months have brought changes in the political landscape in Serbia, the capture of Radovan Karadžic, and new friends. The past months have brought new challenges and new adventures. The summer brought intense, overwhelming heat which seems to have finally made exited the scene (as of last week).

However, instead of going back in time and trying to explain what I was doing all of those long months of blog silence, I am going to just start from the here and now. I have decided it will be easier to start where I am now than to go back in time and try to catch up. Of course, sometimes I may throw in a blog post or two with an 'older' memory or anecdote from my months of blog silence.

Beginning today I am just going to try to be more diligent in blogging about the everyday events. The fun ones and the dull ones. Call it an early New Year's Resolution. My blog has officially been resuscitated and revived. Expect to see more soon.