And now for your inter-class entertainment we present....

My language school, The Institute for Foreign Languages Belgrade (or ИНСТИТУТ ЗА СТРАНЕ ЈЕЗИΚΕ БЕОГРАД in Serbian) not only offers language courses, but also has a cafe. It is really just a small kitchen and the main lobby, but they offer cappuccino, coffee, orange juice, and eleven different varieties of tea. And they offer these beverages at an incredibly low rate. It's so cheap that I'm unsure if they make a profit. I can get a glass of steaming tea for 10 dinara (about twenty US cents). Most of the students buy a beverage both before the first class and during the ten minute break between the two classes (We have two forty-five minute class sessions a day with a ten minute break in between them).

Yesterday's ten minute break saw an expansion of the services offered by the institute for our educational enjoyment. They offered some short films to watch as we sipped on our steaming beverages between class sessions. The short films were brought in by a student to be shared. However, this was not just any student. It was Luka.

Luka came into our class at the end of last week about fifteen minutes late. He was escorted in by an administrative personnel. It was a good thing the woman was able to escort him since he almost fell over twice upon entering the classroom. He finally made it to a seat (without incident) and sat down struggling to catch his breath. Fortunately for us, he did not stay long. He was deemed to be too advanced for our class. He was obviously drugged and was still too advanced for our class. Talk about a blow to the self-esteem.

Apparently, Luka had recently had an operation on his throat. My understanding of the situation is limited. It is unclear to me whether or not he is needing to relearn how to pronounce words and to speak properly, or if he is learning Serbian for the first time. Whatever the reason, we were all very glad he didn't stay in the class. It was very difficult for all of to hold our good-natured chuckles until he left the room. A glazed-eyed, stoned language student is very amusing. Even if you don't understand what he is saying.

Later that same day (during the intermission between classes) Luka started a conversation with me. He had lived in the United States for seven years and wanted to know where I was from. It was just as funny to interact with him in English as it was in Serbian. After that initial conversation, I made sure to avoid him in the lobby, halls, and the stairway.

Avoidance only works for so long. Especially if your professors insist on everyone sitting down and watching the short films of the person you are trying to avoid. We watched two of Luka's movies. The first was a claymation (in the style of Wallace and Gromit) autobiography of Luka's life. It consisted of him walking in a park, showing up at his sister's apartment to find his sister and her boyfriend kissing ("They were very much in love. Luka was lonely."), going to his other sister's apartment and seeing how in love she was with her husband ("They were very much in love. Luka was lonely."), finding a girlfriend (Michelle), Luka being excited to be able to introduce his girlfriend to his sisters' and their prospective men, and Michelle breaking up with Luka because he told her she needed to lose weight ("Have you ever thought of losing some weight? It seems like it would be a very good idea."). The story ended with claymation Luka being lonely again. I must say the claymation was actually very good, but the script (which was posted on a black screen in between the short scenes of the claymation figures walking and kissing) was not Academy Award winning.

The second short film was titled, "Even the gods get bored". It was not claymation, but had "real" actors. It consisted of a man dressed up a superhero outfit on a chair saying, "It's a good thing there are call girls. " Then a girl ringing the doorbell and showing up in a skimpy Wonder Woman outfit and doing a pole dance. The first character then said, "Are you sure Superman won't mind?" Wonder Woman answered, "Oh, he's out of the picture. The only person we have to worry about is...." Then their was a big boom at the door. The screen went black.

It was a mild form of torture to sit through these films and try not to laugh. Let's just suffice it to say that I avoided the lobby during the break today in an effort to avoid being forced to watch another Luka production.